Alright, so the McDonald's CEO, Chris Kempczinski, did a little "tournament" on LinkedIn to pick his fave menu item. And guess what? It was the Snack Wrap. McDonald's CEO picks surprising winner as his favorite menu item in LinkedIn tournament
Seriously?
The Snack Wrap Savior? Give Me a Break.
Let's be real, this whole thing smells like a PR stunt cooked up by some marketing intern who peaked in high school. They trot out the CEO to pretend he's just like us, craving those oh-so-affordable Snack Wraps (which, by the way, are $2.99 EACH).
It's insulting, frankly.
Kempczinski chose the Egg McMuffin over the Big Mac at first, but then fries apparently were his most-chosen pick throughout the tournament. Fries beat the Egg McMuffin, McCrispy, and Filet-O-Fish! That makes sense. I mean, who doesn't love those salty, greasy sticks of potato goodness? But then...the Chicken McNuggets beat the fries? Okay, I'm starting to doubt this whole "tournament" thing. Are we sure this wasn't just some random food fight in the corporate cafeteria?
And the Snack Wrap won against the Quarter Pounder with Cheese? The QPC? I'm calling BS.
McDonald's wants us to believe that the CEO is sitting in his ivory tower, dreaming of Snack Wraps? Please. He's probably got a personal chef whipping up Wagyu burgers with truffle aioli. And these Snack Wraps, back since July 10th after a "nearly decade" absence, are suddenly the answer to all their prayers?
The Real Reason They're Pushing This Crap
Oh, right, I forgot. McDonald's profits are up in America after bringing back the Snack Wrap. A "15 percent surge" in store traffic the day they re-released those bad boys.
Color me skeptical.
The article says McDonald's is trying to "soothe the economic worries of many Americans." You know what would really soothe our economic worries? Paying their employees a living wage. Lowering their prices across the board. Not pretending a $3 Snack Wrap is some kind of revolutionary act of kindness.
And what's this about the Extra Value Menu? An $8 Big Mac meal? That's a value? I remember when a Big Mac meal was, like, five bucks. What are they smoking over there?
Chipotle and Cava are struggling, apparently, because their meals cost upwards of $15. Well, duh. People are broke. They're not going to spend their hard-earned cash on overpriced avocado toast.
Look, I get it. Companies need to make money. But this whole charade of "relatability" is just…ugh. It's manipulative.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe I'm just a grumpy old cynic yelling at clouds. Maybe people really love Snack Wraps that much. Maybe Chris Kempczinski really eats them every day for lunch.
Nah. Ain't buying it.
And What About the Monopoly Game?
Oh, and they brought back the Monopoly game. Because nothing says "we care about you" like dangling the chance to win a prize in front of broke people who are already spending their money on overpriced fast food.
It's like a casino, but with more grease and less dignity.
So, What's the Real Story?
It's all about the bottom line. They want to sell more Snack Wraps. They want to boost their stock price. They want us to think they're our friends. And I'm not falling for it.
