Generated Title: Spotify's Q3 "Beat" Is Bullshit, and You Know It
Alright, let's get one thing straight: Spotify's "beat" this quarter? Total and utter garbage. I'm supposed to be impressed that they managed to squeeze out a slightly better profit than expected? Give me a break.
The Numbers Game
€3.28 EPS versus the €2.02 analysts expected? Okay, sure. Revenue up 7%? Fine. But let's not pretend this is some kind of miracle turnaround. It's smoke and mirrors, people. They're juggling numbers, jacking up prices, and hoping we're too stupid to notice.
And what's with this "gross margin expanded to 31.6%" crap? Oh, wow, 0.53% improvement? That's like celebrating a participation trophy. Pathetic.
Daniel Ek, bless his heart, spouting off about how "healthy" the business is. "We’re shipping faster than ever." Yeah, shipping what? More ads? More podcasts nobody asked for? More reasons to cancel my subscription?
The User Illusion
713 million monthly active users. Big deal. How many of those are actually paying? And how many are just freeloaders listening to ads every three minutes? They're patting themselves on the back for user growth, but let's be real: quantity doesn't equal quality.
And this whole "extremely bullish" sentiment on Stocktwits? Seriously? That place is a cesspool of pump-and-dump schemes. If that's your barometer for success, you're in deep trouble.
I saw one report that shares initially fell 5% after the earnings were released. Tells you everything you need to know, doesn't it? Spotify Technology S.A. (SPOT) Stock: Drops Over 5% as Q3 Earnings Beat Estimates, Margins Rebound Ahead of Leadership Shift All this "beating expectations" doesn't mean jack if the market doesn't buy it.
Offcourse, they're projecting 745 million MAUs next quarter. More freeloaders, I assume.
The CEO Shuffle
Oh, and let's not forget the big news: Daniel Ek stepping down as CEO. Or, sorry, "transitioning to executive chairman." Whatever. It's always the same song and dance. "He's still involved!" "He's just focusing on strategy!" Yeah, right. He's probably cashing out and buying a yacht.
Two co-CEOs? Gustav Söderström and Alex Norström? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. How's that even work? Are they gonna arm wrestle for decisions? I mean, come on. This isn't a serious company; it's a tech bro fantasy.
They claim Wall Street sees it as stability. Are they blind? Blind I tell you!
So, What's the Real Story?
It's all a con. Spotify is a glorified jukebox that's bleeding money, and they're trying to convince us it's a revolutionary tech company. I ain't buying it.
